A Color-full Way to Understand & Build Relationships
by Carolyn Gross
We spend one-third of life building and maintaining relationships, one-third in career and financial pursuits and one-third addressing health and fitness.
Relationships are a major part of life and business that can make or remake us. I've always believed there are two types of people: friends and teachers. Friends are there for you, and they support and love you even when you aren't exactly perfect. Teachers aren't quite so benevolent. They challenge, and sometimes "trick," their students.
Finding Your Color
Through the years, one piece of research from the book The Color Code has profoundly affected me. The book was based on the research of Taylor Hartman, PhD. His color-coded personality assessment defines each person's "core motive," or the focus of the individual's personality. It's apparent in childhood and doesn't change much.
REALTORS ® meet many people in transactions. Wouldn't it be great to categorize personality types to quickly understand them and interact effectively? The "Color Code" provides this. With the following four colors, you can evaluate your core motive and perhaps identify some customers or "teachers" as well.
"Reds" must be number one because their core motive is power. They have natural talents to assist in their pursuit of it.
Reds are natural leaders and visionary thinkers. They often see the future before it occurs and are brilliant problem solvers. Their approach can be less than warm because they focus on productivity and connecting with other movers and shakers.
Overall they need to be right and respected and to appear intellectual. Reds are necessary to any organization because they confidently lead it and keep productivity on track. Keys to relating to reds are:
- Be direct and specific.
- Don't engage in small talk unless they initiate it.
- Enlist them if problems need to be solved.
The blue personality is the only personality that needs others to get their core motive of intimacy met. As the "true blue" expression goes, blues make devoted friends. They remember birthdays; so don't forget theirs because they'll take it personally.
Their natural talents are quality-minded and service-oriented. They make the best volunteers and are an asset to any organization because customer care comes naturally. In business and life, they need to be good morally to please others and be understood.
They can discuss relationships and people all day and not be bored. Oprah is a true blue. Keys to relating to blues include sincerity, loyalty and, above all, to appreciate them.
The white personality has a core motive of peace. Their natural abilities are clarity and tolerance. For this reason they make good leaders like reds.
Whites are everyone's friends. They need to be free of conflict, accepted and independent. They are very adaptive and peaceful. When some personalities try to manipulate white, it doesn't work. When whites feel their independence being threatened, they will get stubborn. Overall they are a necessary part of the team because they are inventive and adaptive.
Keys to relating to whites include patience (they don't make decisions easily), kindness and relaxation.
The yellow personality thinks life is a party that they host. Their core motive is fun. These natural cheerleaders display enthusiasm and optimism in everything.
Both whites and yellows are least motivated by careers. After all, they have peace and fun to attend to. The yellow personality needs to look good socially, thrives on playful adventure and needs to be adored.
They are great performers (sometimes in Hollywood) and can always pull off an impromptu presentation. They bring sunshine and a light-hearted approach to the team.
Keys to relating to yellows include:
- Be positive.
- Be playful.
- Praise them.
Carolyn Gross, an award winning speaker and author, teaches people to Manage Chaos With Confidence. She can be contacted at (760) 741 2762 or visit her website www.carolyngross.com.